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05 July 2010 @ 11:54 pm
The Way You Make Me Feel (1/1)  

Okay, so first off I'd like to say that I'm really nervous to post this because I have never written or published smut before I wrote this. So please don't judge me/eat my babies. That said...

Title: The Way You Make Me Feel
Authorsomedayxxbway  (Jess)
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Arizona and Callie need to figure out just where they are--and opening up to new things carries from their relationship to the bedroom. (My first smut attempt ever, so don't smite me please.)
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.


I can’t live without you and our ten kids.

The stupid grin just would not wipe off of Callie’s face as she replayed the scene in her head for the millionth time. After their very public make-out session, they both rushed off to check up on their patients, but not before promises of a more fulfilling make up later that night. Now Callie was at home, waiting for Arizona. A tentative rap on the door told her that Arizona had arrived. She felt somehow guilty for it, but she understood exactly why Arizona hesitated. Arizona did not exactly know where they were. Callie was not exactly sure, herself. Pondering this, she opened the door to a flustered-looking Arizona.

“Hi!” Arizona exclaimed, in a nervous, high-pitched voice.

“Hi,” Callie said calmly with a smile, looking Arizona up and down. At Callie’s loving tone Arizona relaxed. “Come on in.”

Arizona wasted no time. She threw her bag onto the floor just inside Callie’s apartment, flung her arms around Callie’s neck, and kissed Callie’s breath away. Callie laughed into Arizona’s mouth and kissed back, only holding back enough to keep her senses about her. They still had to talk.

It can wait! A large part of her protested.

No, she thought with conviction. We have to talk now.

Slowly Callie eased the frenzied, passionate kiss down to soft, tender ones.

“We have to talk,” she said, pressing her forehead against Arizona’s.

“I know,” said Arizona. “I brought red wine. Your favorite.”

Callie smiled and beckoned Arizona to sit on the couch. She took two glasses from her kitchen cupboard and joined Arizona on the couch, instinctively snuggling up to her.

“This feels nice,” sighed Arizona. Callie smiled, her head resting on Arizona’s breast.

“We still need to talk,” said Callie. Her voice was serious though she nuzzled into Arizona at the same time.

“What about?” asked Arizona. “Where do we begin?”

“Good question,” said Callie. “I don’t know. I mean…where are we?”

“In your apartment,” joked Arizona.

“Seriously,” Callie said, but not sternly. “Do we count our time apart as a blip in our relationship, or a legitimate break-up?”

“I don’t know,” whispered Arizona. “I would love to call it a blip because I never stopped loving you, but it felt pretty official at the time.”

“So, I guess we’re starting all over, huh,” laughed Callie. “Does that mean I have to wait to tell you I love you for a more appropriate time in the relationship?”

“No, silly,” said Arizona. “Didn’t I say I never stopped loving you?”

“You did,” said Callie. She let it hang in the air.

“…And?” asked Arizona expectantly.

“I never stopped loving you. Not for a second,” conceded Callie.

“Mmm,” sighed Arizona. “Say it again.”

“I never stopped loving you. I love you so much, Arizona,” said Callie. “More than I’ve ever imagined loving a person before.”

“You have no idea how amazing that feels,” said Arizona. A thought itched at the back of Callie’s mind, and she could not brush it away.

“What did you mean,” Callie whispered, “When you said that you’re sick of me falling in love with everyone?” Arizona stiffened.

“I just…I don’t know.” Arizona sat up all the way, moving Callie away from herself. “I always…” Callie watched Arizona struggle with the words that made her so vulnerable in that moment. “Losing the ones I love is…my biggest fear. You have more of a right for that to be your fear, with all that you’ve gone through, but somehow the prospect is more terrifying for me. I mean, I lost my brother, I lose patients all the time…”

“So…” Callie prompted Arizona, still not understanding where Arizona was going.

“So I love you with more than I’ve ever loved anyone before. I don’t let people in, Calliope. But I let you in. I let you under my skin; I let you get close. You made me vulnerable to pain. So while my barriers are completely down when I’m around you, my defenses are up when it comes to everything about you. I don’t let myself get completely comfortable because I don’t want to get hurt. And that means I’ll lie awake at night some nights, thinking about your past and how easily you’ve fallen for people before; convincing myself that one day you could very well wake up and realize you’d fallen for me too quickly, and decide to leave me.”

Tears were in both Arizona and Callie’s eyes at this confession. Callie pulled Arizona into a hug.

“That will never happen, Arizona,” she whispered into Arizona’s ear. “I love you so much. I never said I was in love with Erica or Mark. Before that, George? He was the first and last person I’d said I love you to before you, and it was on an impulse and because of physical attraction, not what I’ve been feeling for you since our fourth date.

“I waited,” Callie continued. “I waited to tell you until I was absolutely positively sure, and even after that I waited because I did not want to scare you away. I mean, I knew pretty early on that you were the one. When you told me you loved me first, it meant more to me than you could ever imagine.” Callie was planning on continuing, but her speech was interrupted by a series of kisses being peppered all over her face. She joined her lips with Arizona’s, tasting salty tears along with Arizona’s unique taste.

“I love you,” said Arizona. She kissed Callie on the mouth. “I love you,” she said again, kissing Callie on her jaw. “I love you,” she repeated, kissing Callie’s neck. Between each kiss trailing down to the low neckline of Callie’s shirt, I love you was moaned into Callie’s skin. When Arizona got to the neckline of the shirt, she bared her teeth, taking the cloth between them, and slowly dragged it upwards, moving her hands along the bottom to bring Callie’s shirt over her head.

“I have to…tell Cristina…to stay at Mer’s…” gasped Callie, watching Arizona drag her shirt up with her teeth, maintaining eye contact the whole time. Arizona removed Callie’s shirt all the way before giving Callie a bit more freedom of movement. Somehow in a very short span of time, Arizona had managed to position the two of them so that she was straddling Callie, who was lying flat on her back.

Callie felt around for her phone on the coffee table, finally connecting with it and picking it up. Her hands were shaking, but she unlocked the phone and started a new message for Cristina. Arizona traced circles around Callie’s belly button as Callie attempted to type, “having sex tonight. Sleep at mer’s.”

“Can you s-stop?” stuttered Callie, having blundered typing the word “tonight” three times already.

“No,” said Arizona coyly. “This is too much fun.” She laughed at the exasperated look on Callie’s face. Callie tried to turn her attention back to her phone, but Arizona started removing her own shirt while Callie tried to inform Cristina of the situation.

“Damn it,” Callie said. She pressed the send button. The message read, “havibg sex tonihgt. slep at m” but Callie could not care less. She dug her nails into Arizona’s shoulders, dragging Arizona down, and connecting their lips together in a hot, wet kiss.

Their tongues battled for dominance as Callie battled with Arizona’s bra hook. She needed this more than anything. She needed to feel Arizona’s bare breasts against hers.

As Callie succeeded in undoing Arizona’s clasp, her phone vibrated.

“Fuck,” she said. She unlocked her phone and looked at the new message from Cristina.

“try txting me before ur in the throes next time, cal. ur spelling sux. i was planning on being at mers anyway,” Callie read aloud. “That was pointless.”

“No, it wasn’t,” laughed Arizona. “Now we have no fear of anyone walking in on us…anywhere. And,” her voice dropped an octave, dripping with lust, “I want to make love to you everywhere in this house. I want to fuck you on the kitchen counter, in the shower, in your bed, and against the window. I want to leave a secret mark in this apartment that only you and I know about.” She smirked and ground down on Callie. “And I want to leave a mark on you for the world to see.” At this, she brought her mouth down to Callie’s neck, sucking and biting to ensure that the world would see that Callie was hers.

“You’ve already left your mark on me. Everybody knows that I am and will always be yours,” Callie moaned, squirming under Arizona. She tried to roll over so that she was on top, but the lack of space on the couch would not allow it. “Ari…I’m all for sex on the couch…I’m all for sex, everywhere…but there is no room on this damn thing. Can we take this to the bedroom?”

Arizona bit her lip and sat up, pulling Callie up with her.

“Let’s go, then,” she whispered with urgency. She laced her fingers with Callie’s and the two practically sprinted down the hallway to Callie’s room. They made it into the room in record time, and hastily shut the door behind them.

As soon as the door was shut, Callie pushed Arizona into it forcefully and unbuttoned Arizona’s light blue jeans. Arizona unclasped Callie’s bra and slid it off of Callie’s body, gazing hungrily at Callie’s exposed breasts.

“Bed,” she murmured. Callie nodded and lead Arizona to her bed.

“Lie down,” said Callie. Arizona raised an eyebrow and obeyed, scooting backwards on the bed until her head hit the pillow. Callie gazed at Arizona’s almost naked form with love and lust before quickly dropping her own pants so that they were matched. She then climbed onto the bed, on top of Arizona, fitting one leg between Arizona’s.

“I love you,” Arizona whispered. She was shaking from arousal at the familiar feeling of Callie’s skin on hers, and the fact that Callie was not ever going away.

“I love you,” replied Callie, stroking Arizona’s cheek. She leaned down and planted her lips on Arizona’s in a tender kiss, doing her best to relay every emotion she was feeling at the moment. As she kissed Arizona, she gently pressed her thigh into Arizona’s center, feeling her heat through her silken panties. Arizona whimpered into Callie’s mouth, sending shivers down Callie’s spine.

“I love you,” repeated Arizona, “But you never were a top.” She grinned wickedly at Callie and rolled them over so that she was again straddling Callie. She pinned Callie’s hands above her head with one hand, while she used her other hand to tease Callie by lightly tracing her finger all over Callie’s body. Callie bit her lip, gasping.

“Ari,” she whimpered. Arizona smirked and slid down so her mouth was level with Callie’s breasts. She looked Callie in the eyes as she licked her lips slowly, before taking one of Callie’s hardened nipples in her mouth. Callie gasped, then moaned, writhing under Arizona.

“Behave,” ordered Arizona before letting go of Callie’s hands and bringing her hand to massage Callie’s other breast. With her free hand, she cupped Callie’s clothed sex.

“Ari,” said Callie. “Please…”

Arizona halted administrations to Callie’s breasts in order to shake her head at Callie with a sly smile before returning. Her nimble fingers teased Callie above the belt and below, where they were now slowly sliding up and down Callie’s sex, making Callie moan with satisfaction and frustration. She shifted her hips in one quick movement, forcing Arizona’s hands inside her soaked panties. Arizona flicked Callie’s clit quickly once and then withdrew, moving off of Callie.

“Ah ah,” she said, admonishing Callie. “I said behave.”

“Arizona,” said Callie forcefully. “Fuck me. Now.”

That was an order.

Arizona gasped and then smirked at her girlfriend’s dirty talk.

“All right,” said Arizona. “Take off your panties.” That was an order. Callie obeyed.

“Good,” said Arizona. “Now take off my panties.” Callie obeyed again, dragging Arizona’s blue lace panties down with her teeth. Arizona whimpered, but kept control of her senses and ordered, “Get on your hands and knees.”

This time, Callie shot Arizona a questioning look but obeyed. This was new.

“Don’t say anything,” Arizona whispered. The intensity of her quiet voice filled the room. She sat up on her knees behind Callie. Callie felt Arizona’s eyes graze over her body appreciatively, but she was so desperate for something, she was not waiting.

“Are you just going to look at me, or—OHHHH.” Callie’s demand was interrupted by a loud moan as Arizona, without warning, thrust two fingers into Callie from behind.

“I told you not to say anything,” said Arizona sternly. She thrust her fingers into Callie again, creating a slow but accelerating rhythm. Callie did not hear Arizona’s admonishment over the extreme pleasure that was buzzing in her ears, humming throughout her whole body. At each thrust in and out, Callie moaned a little more loudly.

“Callie,” said Arizona over Callie’s moans. At hearing her own name, Callie came to her senses through the intense pleasure Arizona was invoking on her. “Say my name,” Arizona ordered.

“Arizona,” moaned Callie, moving back into Arizona’s fingers, wanting more. Arizona brought her free hand to Callie’s clit, rubbing in circles as she rhythmically thrust into Callie.

“More,” Callie moaned. “Arizona…”

Arizona added a third finger, needing to satisfy Callie.

“Arizona!” screamed Callie. This was unlike anything she and Arizona had done in the bedroom before. She could feel herself getting wetter and wetter at each thrust, her walls tightening on their own. “Arizona,” whimpered Callie again, moving into Arizona’s hand, forcing her fingers to thrust even deeper. She could feel herself getting closer and closer, and she was shaking. She was still screaming, but she was no longer sure of what was coming out of her mouth—Spanish and English mixed together with nonsensical moans and Arizona’s name.

Arizona lowered her head and bit down on Callie’s ass as she thrust in and out, and that was all Callie needed. Waves of pleasure rushed over her, at first like a gentle sea and progressing to an explosion of color and feeling. Arizona continued thrusting into Callie and rubbing her clit until Callie’s screams and moans subsided into quiet whimpers of relief.

Arizona left the foot of the bed and lay down on her side of the bed. Callie got off of her hands and knees and faced Arizona, intertwining her fingers with Arizona’s, still needing a connection. Arizona looked into Callie’s eyes and saw tears brimming in them. Suddenly a chuckle escaped Callie’s lips. And then another. And then Callie was shaking with laughter, and crying at the same time. Arizona joined in, completely bemused and amused at Callie’s reaction to their make-up sex.

“That was…” Callie laughed. “That was seriously the most amazing orgasm I have ever had!” She wheezed with laughter. Arizona stared at Callie with a mixed expression of mirth and shock.

“Are you okay?” Arizona asked, trying to suppress a giggle.

“Okay?” asked Callie through her laughter. “This is the best I’ve felt in…I don’t even know!” She abruptly stopped laughing, and Arizona was startled to see that her tears of laughter had immediately become pained sobs.

“Calliope,” whispered Arizona. The shock of the day’s events was finally setting in, and neither Callie nor Arizona could have imagined a worse time for it to do so. Arizona closed the space between their bodies and wrapped her arms around Callie, letting her own tears spill. “Shhh…” she whispered. “It’ll be okay.”

“I just…” Callie said, sniffing. “I can’t lose you, Arizona. I know that now. I just can’t.”

“I’m right here,” said Arizona comfortingly. “I’m right here.” She stroked Callie’s back and held her tight, remembering how Callie had protected them both and how they might never have been here if it weren’t for Callie’s big heart. Arizona felt a surge of remorse for the fact that she had ever placed blame on Callie for opening her heart so much. Callie’s heart was the reason they were here, together, and alive.

“Do you want to just…go to sleep?” suggested Arizona, wincing as she took note of how turned on she still was, despite the abrupt change of mood.

“No,” Callie sniffed, pulling back from Arizona’s embrace, and through her tears Arizona saw a spark light up in Callie’s eyes. “I want to show you what it’s like to feel what you make me feel.”

“I already know,” whispered Arizona, squeezing Callie’s hand. Callie bit her lip and climbed on top of Arizona. “Calliope—don’t tease me,” Arizona begged. “Just show me what you feel.”

Callie grinned and made her slow descent down Arizona’s body, dragging her tongue along Arizona’s curves. She reached Arizona’s center and without any hesitation, dipped her tongue into Arizona’s folds. She took in Arizona’s intoxicating smell, smiling.

“You’re so wet,” Callie breathed into Arizona’s sex, before she slowly flicked her tongue on Arizona’s clit. Arizona thrashed into Callie, and Callie knew that that meant absolutely no teasing. She quickened her tongue’s pace, finding that one spot that Arizona just loved and focusing most of her attention on it. Arizona thrashed her hips against Callie’s tongue some more, causing Callie to slip and have to hold Arizona’s hips still with one of her hands. Her other hand slid along Arizona’s entrance before she slipped one finger in and curled it before sliding it back out. She repeated this, quickening her pace, until she was pumping her fingers in and out of Arizona at an impossibly fast rate. Arizona’s loud moans told Callie that she was almost finished. Callie added in a second finger and curled, feeling Arizona’s walls tighten and clench around it as she hit her release. Writhing under Callie’s still-moving tongue, Arizona moaned in a gravelly low voice as she came down from her high.

“You,” gasped Arizona, her voice raspy from how vocal she had been just seconds ago, “Are. Amazing.”

Callie grinned smugly.

“Say it again,” she teased.

“You are, Calliope,” breathed Arizona. “Amazing.” She grinned sleepily at Callie. “Let’s not break up again, okay?”

“I don’t know,” laughed Callie. “The make-up sex was good enough, we might have to break up again just for the sexytimes that come when we get back together.” Arizona giggled and swatted Callie on the shoulder lazily.

“But in all seriousness,” said Callie. “Let’s not break up again. Every minute apart from you was…” she shuddered. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” said Arizona, sidling up to Callie and wrapping their bodies together in a tight embrace. “But I feel sort of…guilty…at the same time.” She sighed.

“I know,” said Callie. “Our happiness came at the cost of so many lost lives. Is it bad that I’m happy that shooter was there today?”

“Yes,” said Arizona. “But no. It can’t be, ‘cause I feel the same way.”

Callie traced her nails on Arizona’s bare back.

“Let’s just sleep now, okay?” she suggested. “I know tomorrow morning will be hell.”

“It won’t be,” said Arizona. “Not with you.”

“Sleep,” murmured Callie, already slipping from the conscious world.

“Sleep,” agreed Arizona, giggling at her lover. “But one more thing.”

“Mmm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”
 
 
♫ i feel...: embarrassedembarrassed
♪ i am listening to...: I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked - Ida Maria
 
 
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annakate250annakate250 on July 6th, 2010 05:38 am (UTC)
that was. wow. haaa i'm speechless! really hot. but sweet too!! really good, especially if that was your first time writing stuff like that!
Jesssomedayxxbway on July 6th, 2010 11:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I was really nervous publishing it but I'm glad you liked it! :)
itsallcomealiveitsallcomealive on July 6th, 2010 06:39 am (UTC)
Could we have your fanfiction played on screen ? Please, Shonda ?

Because that was ... GREAT ! You captured the emotions in a perfect way - Arizona's nervousness at first, then all the feelings during the talk - I absolutely love your describing skills.

And had you not mentionned that it's the first time you write an NC-17, I wouldn't have noticed. Very well done.

I would dare say : ENCORE !

PS : I laughed aloud when I came to the part where Callie tries to send Cristina her text message. Too much fun. :D
Jess: GA:Calzona Kisssomedayxxbway on July 7th, 2010 12:14 am (UTC)
Thankyouthankyou! :) I dunno how soon I'll post, as you put it, an encore, but maybe. :P
Cyndi Isabelmcseriously101 on July 6th, 2010 06:41 am (UTC)
that was really really hot.
/\*(^_^)*/\
Jess: GA:Demon Arizonasomedayxxbway on July 7th, 2010 12:14 am (UTC)
Bah. Thanks. ^_^
sydneygirl1903: Calzona Wall HOTsydneygirl1903 on July 6th, 2010 07:58 am (UTC)
your first attempt on smut? i am very impressed. i say you should try again ;) this was so sweet and funny and sexy as hell. i loved it!
Jess: GA:Calzona Kisssomedayxxbway on July 7th, 2010 12:14 am (UTC)
Yayy, thank you! :D
NncyL72nncyl72 on July 6th, 2010 08:27 am (UTC)
Oh wow!
this was just so real!
Damn near perfect!!
Knowing how much these ladies love each other this was just so real for them.
I can feel the love and lust just reading it!
Great job!!
Jess: GA:Calzona ROFLcopter!somedayxxbway on July 7th, 2010 12:15 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! :)
funkyshaz57funkyshaz57 on July 6th, 2010 09:08 am (UTC)
That was all kinds of seriously hot hot hot hot!!!! Loved loved loved it - Would love some more! Hot stuff!!!
Jesssomedayxxbway on July 7th, 2010 12:16 am (UTC)
Thank you thank you thank you! :P I pretty much exhausted my brain writing this, but I might write more at some point...who knows? :)
tonksylupin: GA: arizona_yaytonksylupin on July 6th, 2010 12:51 pm (UTC)
Wow, that was seriously HOT! :D
Great story, it's the perfect continuous to the last episode, and not only for the sexy-time, but for dialogues too ;) I love all their "ILY", they're totally made for each other and you described it brilliantly ^^
The text scene was pure gold, totally hilarious! :)
Amazing, simply amazing.
Jess: HP:lumossomedayxxbway on July 7th, 2010 12:16 am (UTC)
Wow, thank you for the comment! :) That means a lot to me...and I love your username! ;)
flowdeborahflowdeborah on July 6th, 2010 01:07 pm (UTC)
Perfect. Your connection to our girls is perfect. This flows perfectly from the final 'Shonda' scene. Totally flawless.
You get a gold star!
Jess: GA:Demon Arizonasomedayxxbway on July 7th, 2010 12:17 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. :D Thanks for reviewing
Michelle: [tv: grey's anatomy] callie & arizona 02englishstrawbie on July 11th, 2010 03:52 pm (UTC)
Awesome writing. You shouldn't be embarrassed or nervous, because you did a great job. Your characterisation was great and the smut was hot!
Jesssomedayxxbway on July 13th, 2010 06:05 am (UTC)
Bah. Thank you! :)
simplyaddie: Wine Is Goodsimplyaddie on November 17th, 2010 06:39 am (UTC)
Mmm soo good.
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